WITTY WEDNESDAY

Out of the mouths of babes...


It was Clown Day at school and I was wearing a pair of large, baggy 

pants with a hula hoop at the waist. One boy peeked in my pants 

and said, "You look like you could have a party in those pants."

V. Wells ~ Stuart, FL

I was teaching, or so I thought, some French culture to a group of 8th 

graders a few years ago, and we were discussing the martyred Joan 

of Arc. Being a (very bad) punster, I referred to Joan as the "original 

French fry." A student shyly raised his hand and asked, "I thought 

she was swallowed by a whale." L. Lucas ~Jacksonville, FL

I was doing a Character Counts lesson on cooperation. I asked my 

kindergartners if anyone could tell me what cooperation means. A 

little girl raised her hand and said, "Someone in my family had a 

cooperation and died!".

V. Wells ~ Stuart, FL

In our church, we have missionaries that travel around from place 

to place spreading the gospel. One day while driving to a doctor's 

appointment, I saw two of our local missionaries walking down 

the street. At that same instant my little sister exclaimed " Look! 

It's the dictionaries!"
R. Brand

We were at my in-laws one weekend and our 4 yr old who is now 

eight was in their bathroom looking at herself in the mirror, one 

of her favorite things to do. My father in law went in the bathroom 

and asked her what she was doing, she replied just looking. She 

then said " Papa can I ask you a question?" "yes" he said she says 

" did God make you and me both?" "Yes God made both of us" he 

replied. She then looked in the mirror and then back at her papa 

and in the mirror again, she did this a couple of times before finally 

saying "Boy he sure is doing a better job now." 

J. Siloam Springs, AR

A few blocks away from our school, on our way to a pumpkin farm 

last Fall, one of my first graders was looking out the window of the

bus, while she was excitedly pointing and naming all the places 

she recognized; - "that's where my grandma works," pointing to a 

supermarket warehouse. "My mom works at the bank", and that 

her auntie also worked somewhere. All of the sudden she stops, 

turns, and says to me, "How about you Mrs. Alvarez? Where do 

you work?"
AZAN6@aol.com

One of the teachers had a kindergartner come up to her and say 

that he found a frog. The teacher asked if the frog was alive or dead. 

The student said it was dead. The teacher asked how he knew. The 

boy said, "I pissed in it's ear." The teacher said, "You what?" He 

said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, 'PSST!' and it didn't 

move. So it must be dead."
G. Beck ~ Augusta, ME

I passed out snack to a class of kindergartners. One young man looked 

up at me and told me that he wanted to share his cookie. (He had licked, 

smeared and slobbered it all over his face.) I told him no thank you, and 

explained that I had gained weight over the winter break and needed to be 

careful about eating snacks. He looked at me and I could tell his little mind 

was thinking. I started to feel bad and decided I WOULD choke down the 

cookie somehow! But then he said, "Teacher, its ok, really, I think you 

look the same fatness!"

I was teaching art to a class of second graders and trying to let them 

know that quilts are made out of fabric, or cloth, as they haven't really 

learned those words yet. I was wearing a red wool vest and a cotton 

shirt and used what I was wearing as an example. I said, "This is wool 

and it comes from a sheep. This is cotton and it comes from a garden." 

Later that day, the classroom teacher who was in the room while I 

taught her class art said that one student came up to her later in the 

day to ask her, "But where do they get red sheep?" 

K. Brodie, Birmingham Alabama


I work as a secretary at an elementary school. During the second week 

of school a student in Mrs. Maemura's first grade class was sent to the 

office after having a bathroom accident. Number 2. I bent down and 

softly asked her if she had diarrhea. She looked up at me and said 

"No. I have Mrs. Maemura."

Many years ago when I was a teen, I was assisting the Sunday school 

teacher in class. One Sunday, as we approached the Lenten season , 

the teacher asked the group of 1st graders if any one of them knew 

what Lent was. One of the little girls holding her hand high and proud 

stated that she knew what Lent was. The little girl explained that "Lent" 

was the little things that her mom picked off the clothes when they 

came out of the dryer.
Maine

I was wearing a long, colorful skirt made out of that broomstick material 

when I was trying to explain the word "brag" to my First Graders. I was 

pretending to brag about being the fastest runner in the whole class. I 

was going on and on when a little boy raised his hand and said, "You 

can't run fast wearing that CURTAIN!"

C. Minch ~Stuart, FL

I was helping a little girl practice her handwriting in first grade and she 

was staring at me intently. Thinking she was paying close attention I 

continued. She then politely said " I don't want to be mean but do you

 know you have hair on your lip?" I then said " Is it black?' She said " no" 

so I told her not to worry about it!!!!"
M. Besst ~ Orlando , FL

and my personal favorite...

I teach preschool, 2 year olds. When I was Pregnant with my 3rd child, I 

saw no reason to tell my class because they were so young. As the year was 

coming to an end, I grew quite large. One of my little darlings came up to 

me and said," Miss Ilene, your belly is getting very fat!" I asked this little 

boy if he'd like to know why, and he said yes. I told him I had a baby in my 

tummy. He walked away, saying nothing. The next day, this happy, never 

cry child pitched a fit when his mother tried to leave. She pulled him aside 

and they talked for a few minutes, and the little boy calmed down, and the 

mom was grinning from ear to ear. I asked what happened and she said, 

"Adam thought you might eat him since you've already eaten a baby."
I.Kendig ~ GA