Wednesday, July 2, 2008


Out of the mouths of babes...

It was Clown Day at school and I was wearing a pair of large, baggy 
pants with a hula hoop at the waist. One boy peeked in my pants 
and said, "You look like you could have a party in those pants."
V. Wells ~ Stuart, FL

I was teaching, or so I thought, some French culture to a group of 8th 
graders a few years ago, and we were discussing the martyred Joan 
of Arc. Being a (very bad) punster, I referred to Joan as the "original 
French fry." A student shyly raised his hand and asked, "I thought 
she was swallowed by a whale." L. Lucas ~Jacksonville, FL

I was doing a Character Counts lesson on cooperation. I asked my 
kindergartners if anyone could tell me what cooperation means. A 
little girl raised her hand and said, "Someone in my family had a 
cooperation and died!".
V. Wells ~ Stuart, FL

In our church, we have missionaries that travel around from place 
to place spreading the gospel. One day while driving to a doctor's 
appointment, I saw two of our local missionaries walking down 
the street. At that same instant my little sister exclaimed " Look! 
It's the dictionaries!"
R. Brand

We were at my in-laws one weekend and our 4 yr old who is now 
eight was in their bathroom looking at herself in the mirror, one 
of her favorite things to do. My father in law went in the bathroom 
and asked her what she was doing, she replied just looking. She 
then said " Papa can I ask you a question?" "yes" he said she says 
" did God make you and me both?" "Yes God made both of us" he 
replied. She then looked in the mirror and then back at her papa 
and in the mirror again, she did this a couple of times before finally 
saying "Boy he sure is doing a better job now." 
J. Siloam Springs, AR

A few blocks away from our school, on our way to a pumpkin farm 
last Fall, one of my first graders was looking out the window of the
bus, while she was excitedly pointing and naming all the places 
she recognized; - "that's where my grandma works," pointing to a 
supermarket warehouse. "My mom works at the bank", and that 
her auntie also worked somewhere. All of the sudden she stops, 
turns, and says to me, "How about you Mrs. Alvarez? Where do 
you work?"

One of the teachers had a kindergartner come up to her and say 
that he found a frog. The teacher asked if the frog was alive or dead. 
The student said it was dead. The teacher asked how he knew. The 
boy said, "I pissed in it's ear." The teacher said, "You what?" He 
said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, 'PSST!' and it didn't 
move. So it must be dead."
G. Beck ~ Augusta, ME

I passed out snack to a class of kindergartners. One young man looked 
up at me and told me that he wanted to share his cookie. (He had licked, 
smeared and slobbered it all over his face.) I told him no thank you, and 
explained that I had gained weight over the winter break and needed to be 
careful about eating snacks. He looked at me and I could tell his little mind 
was thinking. I started to feel bad and decided I WOULD choke down the 
cookie somehow! But then he said, "Teacher, its ok, really, I think you 
look the same fatness!"

I was teaching art to a class of second graders and trying to let them 
know that quilts are made out of fabric, or cloth, as they haven't really 
learned those words yet. I was wearing a red wool vest and a cotton 
shirt and used what I was wearing as an example. I said, "This is wool 
and it comes from a sheep. This is cotton and it comes from a garden." 
Later that day, the classroom teacher who was in the room while I 
taught her class art said that one student came up to her later in the 
day to ask her, "But where do they get red sheep?" 
K. Brodie, Birmingham Alabama

I work as a secretary at an elementary school. During the second week 
of school a student in Mrs. Maemura's first grade class was sent to the 
office after having a bathroom accident. Number 2. I bent down and 
softly asked her if she had diarrhea. She looked up at me and said 
"No. I have Mrs. Maemura."

Many years ago when I was a teen, I was assisting the Sunday school 
teacher in class. One Sunday, as we approached the Lenten season , 
the teacher asked the group of 1st graders if any one of them knew 
what Lent was. One of the little girls holding her hand high and proud 
stated that she knew what Lent was. The little girl explained that "Lent" 
was the little things that her mom picked off the clothes when they 
came out of the dryer.

I was wearing a long, colorful skirt made out of that broomstick material 
when I was trying to explain the word "brag" to my First Graders. I was 
pretending to brag about being the fastest runner in the whole class. I 
was going on and on when a little boy raised his hand and said, "You 
can't run fast wearing that CURTAIN!"
C. Minch ~Stuart, FL

I was helping a little girl practice her handwriting in first grade and she 
was staring at me intently. Thinking she was paying close attention I 
continued. She then politely said " I don't want to be mean but do you
 know you have hair on your lip?" I then said " Is it black?' She said " no" 
so I told her not to worry about it!!!!"
M. Besst ~ Orlando , FL

and my personal favorite...

I teach preschool, 2 year olds. When I was Pregnant with my 3rd child, I 
saw no reason to tell my class because they were so young. As the year was 
coming to an end, I grew quite large. One of my little darlings came up to 
me and said," Miss Ilene, your belly is getting very fat!" I asked this little 
boy if he'd like to know why, and he said yes. I told him I had a baby in my 
tummy. He walked away, saying nothing. The next day, this happy, never 
cry child pitched a fit when his mother tried to leave. She pulled him aside 
and they talked for a few minutes, and the little boy calmed down, and the 
mom was grinning from ear to ear. I asked what happened and she said, 
"Adam thought you might eat him since you've already eaten a baby."
I.Kendig ~ GA


mary said...

I taught preschool and elementary school for years, and I love your post! I love children - they just tell it like it is.

Have a wonderful, wonderful day!

LadiesoftheHouse said...

I am glad you enjoyed it Mary! My sister in law teaches kindergarten and I am certain she has heard some real classics too.

Have a great Wednesday!


Laura ~Peach~ said...

Love these some i Have seen before some not but they all make me laugh!
Hope your brother is having a good day!
Continued thoughts and prayers~
Hugs Laura

Caution said...

These are darling! WHERE do you find things like this?